Return of the Fat Bastard - Occasionally forced into Scullery Squatchdom

September 24th 2016 - September 26th 2016

Through the Looking Glass

      The lovely Lisa seems to have made  a complete recovery from her dental surgery. She was up and the coffee was already made by the time I rolled out of bed on the backside of 9:00. Cup of Jo in hand I sat down and watched the news. The good folks in the Excited States are still at each others throats. Our Prime Minister is frantically running from one photo op to another all the while giving away money we don't have. I don't want to turn my blog into a political forum because there's nothing funny about politics, except maybe listening to Asian guys saying "Election!"Read that with an Asian accent. Now does that make me racist? Or am I just harmlessly exploiting a stereotype for a cheap laugh. Every joke has to be about something! Jerry Seinfeld said he wouldn't do the college circuit because the PC police have made it impossible to be funny.
      It's now 8:30 on Monday night and I'm sitting at the Great Bear Pub on Kingsway waiting for the open mic to start. Friday night I found out that I had an audition Monday night at 7:15. That hey landed   was earlier today. Saturday I worked on my lines. At 9:00 am I got a text message picture from Christian. He was fishing with Craig  Lyberger off of Ambelside. Two 6 pounders before 9:00

Pescado

Craig "Fishkill"Lyberger

Then spent four hours floating. Mid afternoon Jen, Christian, the fish and the Grandkids did a drive by fish bombing! They were only at the house long enough to drop off the Fish. Who now rests wrapped in parchment and tin foil awaiting Thanksgiving dinner. The way the guest list is growing I may have to Jesus Christ that fish to feed the Masses! Thirty four is the most we have ever done. I'm not complaining. Everyone chips in and there is always way too much food. We do it because we are truly thankful for all the people in our lives. Also because Chef Boy R Lisa does most of the work. I set up the tables and watch football occasionally forced into Scullery Squatchdom to dry the pots and pans and get the stuff off the high shelves.
     I'm at the Heritage Grill now. I was first up at the Great Bear Pub. I played five songs. Two originals and three covers with bass, drums and two lead guitar players. Including Bill Taylor who joined in half way through my set. I had signed up at the Heritage Grill after my audition but I was thirteenth on the list. It's now 11:00 and I'm still not playing. Oh well. I'm what you might call invested or to use a poker term, pot committed!
      Back to Saturday. We had made plans to meet up with GMcT and his lady Sherry. It's nice to see him smiling again. He was running late and sounded upset but was on his way. The lovely Lisa and I got to River's Reach and Omar got us a table lickety split. His name isn't actually Omar. It's Sharif. I think you can figure it out. He'll always be Omar to me.
      Sunday is football day. I put on my Seahawks jersey and went to visit Mama Lee while the PVR recorded the game for me. The lovely Lisa watered the plants while I talked to Mama Lee about Bro Steve and Brother Peter who is holding up well after his dental surgery. Then we were back at Stuporstore for Chef Boy R Lisas work shop. When we got home I watched the recorded Seahawks game. I love my fast forward. Seahawks won easily. The lovely Lisa was in bed by 6:00 and I headed over to the Fireside for some music therapy at 8:30.

Bill Taylor at the Fireside

Bill Taylor was there and I was up first so he joined me on lead guitar and with drums and bass we did a five song set. I'm getting a lot of stage time with a lot of different players lately and I'm having a blast.
      I was up early and focusing on my audition. Running the lines over and over until I don't have to think about them. The first thing I did after swallowing a couple of cups of Jo was to lose the Santa beard.

Santa Beard Squatch

It wouldn't work for the character I was reading for.

UnSanta'd

I took the Ratdogs to Mundy Park for a walk and a visit with Mama Lee. The lovely Lisa was home at 4:30 and I left for my audition just after 5. I won't see her again until the same time tomorrow. I was at the audition an hour early. I am always early. I hate running in at the last minute then trying to get it together on the fly. I sat in the car running my lines and listening to the Blue Jays blow it in the ninth inning. Piss me off! Which is good because this character is a real dick. I might be able to use some of that BJ disgust. Twenty minutes before my call time I went and signed in. The character description describes him as bald. It was like a cue ball convention in there. The characters name is Ursick. I was the only hairy Ursick there! When it was my turn, twenty minutes late, I was in the box with the casting director and the cameraman and the Actor I was doing the scene with. I had a good read, I was given some direction and did it again. I was happy with what I did. The casting director was happy with what I did and that's that. Said goodbye to a couple of the Baldies I knew and headed for the Heritage Grill. Which is where I am now still thirteenth on the list.
      It was 11:00 when I finally hit the stage. My buddy Gerry was there with his sax, Gregg sat in on lead guitar, Dale was on bass , I was singing and playing acoustic guitar and the drummer was a Dick. No really I asked him his name when we got on stage and he said "Call me Dick!" Honestly, the jokes write themselves. Dick could drum. I have songs I play at jams because they have three chords and lots of room for solos. I was so out of my league on stage tonight. All those guys are really talented musicians. I've played with most of them at other times but never all together and it was the first time I played with Dick!.....See how easy it is!

That's all I've got
Till next time
Peace out Y'all