Who's a Fat Bastard - Happy 5th Birthday Christo!!!

March 23, 2015

Christo the birthday Boy

      Today was a special Papa Squatch Dayscare. It's not only the first time I will have seen the Grandkids in two weeks it is also Christo's 5th Birthday. When Jen dropped them off at 08:15 I had already been up for an hour. I had to get Bella to school at 08:50 and Christo to pre school at 09:30 before I had an appointment about the diabetes drug study I have been on for five years.

I went to the lake and forgot to write about it.

From my blood pressure to my Cholesterol everything was excellent. The biggest changes have occurred since May 2, 2014 when I made the commitment to lose weight and get healthy not by dieting but by changing my Lifestyle. Everything from what and when I eat, to increasing my physical activity and keeping a positive attitude. I have achieved my goals that I set along the way and now I can't imagine going back to the way I was living.

It was a strange kind of light today

Even if I hadn't met my weight goals, I came to realise that it's not that important. The important part is that I feel so good. My energy level, my stamina and even my complexion are so far ahead of where I was was. I have drawn strength from all of you who read this stuff.

They have nothing to do with the story.

The sense of responsibility I feel towards you is sometimes overwhelming. Is that hubris? Vanity? Ego? Do I think that what I write here means anything to anybody but me? BM Ho says the Poop Fairy won't come without me! I guess what I'm trying to say is thank you. Without your support and encouragement I could not have done what I have done so far.

Nutmeg drops a lugnut! Also at the lake.

      As I have stated before, my last Who's a Fat Bastard blog will be posted May 1, 2015. I have decided that at that point I will publish the promised pictures. It is unlikely that I will reach Thong weight by then but I am well under Speedo weight at this point. I'm searching for the right venue for the pictures.

That was my lunch.

      As well as the inspiration I draw from you, I also want to be around for my Grandkids. When Christo was born five years ago today I was 53 years old with a chest full of stents, double digit glucose levels and a not very promising outlook on life. Looking back it's hard to believe I was that person with those attitudes. This is the part where I go on one of those aimless strolls through my mind. Looking for the right metaphor to prove a point that means nothing to anyone but me.
      Some of you knew Sammy Buttmunch Jr.

He was the greatest dog ever. He rode on the back of my motorcycle, first in a milk crate then in a carrier I had made for him. We crisscrossed Canada and even made a trip down to Mexico. That was when he was a young dog. I never made him get on the bike. He always just hopped up into his box. One day when he was about ten, he said no. I got on the bike and rode away without him. He never got on the bike again. Two years later he was moaning and groaning, he had no energy and was starting to go blind. I was facing the very real possibility of having my closest companion for twelve years put down.

      Then came Elvis. Five months and three pounds of unbridled puppy love! He was Dr Dan's dog but through circumstances beyond his control we ended up with Elvis for six weeks. He tormented Sammy back to health! After six weeks Sammy was playing in the yard, swimming at the lake, he hadn't done that in years, and even the Vet couldn't believe the recovery. Sammy lived another eight years. That's what my Grandkids have done for me. Clarissa and Jenna in Toronto keep my heart full of love and Bella and Christo are here for me to hold whenever I want to. I am so glad I decided to make the effort.

A quick stop at Como Lake

      When I picked up Christo the Birthday Boy at noon he decided that he wanted Chinese for his Birthday lunch. We went and picked up Mama Lee and drove to the Sun Star Restaurant/ Austin Diner for Chinese. Christo ordered a grilled cheese sandwich. Mama Lee had Ginger Beef and I had Chop Suey and S&S Pork. After I dropped Mama Lee back at home I went down to London Drugs to return the $50 insoles that hurt like hell. I was walking much better today. Almost no pain at all. I'm still wearing Crocs to protect the blisters. They're almost healed now. After London drugs I took him to Wal mart so he could pick out his own birthday present. Is that lazy or practical? He gets what he wants and I get what I want. He wanted a remote control truck. I wanted to get out of Wal Mart! On the way out we stopped by the TShirts. "Pick one, it's from Mama Lee" I said. Without hesitation he said "I'm Batman." It's a nice shirt with the big Bat symbol on it. What he really digs is Buzz Lightyear but that's twenty years old and they aren't pushing the toys anymore. The thing is the kids are still watching Toy Stories 1, 2, 3. They still hold up. I told Christo, Buzz was killed by Mr Potato Head when he found Buzz's ray gun in Mrs Potato Heads bra!
      We stopped at Safeway for an ice cream cake. Half the price of Dairy Queen and, half the price of Dairy Queen. Oh yeah, it's really good too. We ended up having to race home to pick up Bella from school and the bell rang as we were waiting for the light to change. Christo raced off ahead while I made my way at my usual pace and was there long before Bella was out. They release the kids one at a time and only after making eye contact with the teacher. I stood in a group of parents all bitching about how kids in grade one shouldn't have ten pages of homework over the weekend. Probably right.
      The birthday party was held yesterday at Crash Crawley's Playground and Vomitorium. I begged off and instead said I would keep them for dinner and cake today, his actual birthday. I sent the kids down to the Green room to play and Matty joined them. That went well for an hour or so. Twice they were up looking for chocolate milk. Then Bella hit Matty in the head with a toy gun and everyone was mad at each other. Bella and Christo came upstairs and were in the spare room watching a show and Matty was doing the same thing downstairs. I called down to Tamara and she sent Matty up where I gave them the "You guys have been friends your whole life! Don't let a little pistol whipping get you down", speech.

Happy Birthday Tooooo Yoooooo, that's Christo in the corner.

      Weiner wraps and french fries followed by Happy Birthday with Elvis and Nutmeg leading the chorus and Ice cream cake all around.

Done, finit, gone by 18:45. Chef Boy R Lisa walked through the door an hour later. Seventeen hours after she left. Within minutes she was replaced by Grandma Lisa. She barely had her coat off when she was on the phone to Christo. "It's okay Grandma Lisa, Papa told me" He said when Grandma Lisa apologised for missing the cake. He's such a great kid. The lovely Lisa had a quick bite then was back in bed with a 02:30 wakeup call. I cleaned up the kitchen and was in bed by 10:30.

That's all I've got

Till Next time

Peace out Y'all

©2015 Dave Squatch Ward