Well, I survived another Christmas. With Jen and the Grandkids in Puerto Vallarta for Christmas it was very calm around here. It didn't feel like Christmas around here without them. I have a real problem with Christmas Greed. I haven't bought any gifts in ten years. That's when I had my first panic attack. A debilitating event that leaves me on the verge of tears and unable to make a decision. It happened on the 23rd when the lovely Lisa against my wishes, bought me a pedicure for Christmas. I picked her up at the mall and she handed me some bags. Evidently I lost one of the bags. The one with the gift certificates in it. I was unaware and once we got home the lovely Lisa told me about the lost bag and that was it. I was in the bedroom unable to function, tears welling up in my eyes. My whole body shaking, my heart racing, my mind scrambled and my thoughts incoherent. It took me the better part of two days to get my emotions under control. After all I`ve been through in my life it`s amazing to me that I can be reduced to a puddle by the thought of buying a gift. I really feel bad about the lovely Lisa. She deserves so much more than I can give her. I filled her stocking with chocolate and fruit that I bought at the grocery store. Muey Lamo! I was so relieved when that part of Christmas was over. Ever since the first Christmas the lovely Lisa and I spent together we decided that rather than fill our house with things we neither want or need our gift to each other would be our gift to each other. Socks, underwear and chocolate in the stockings and nothing else. I can barely manage that anymore. It was especially hard this year. Christmas day was the 16th anniversary of my marriage proposal. On the 10th anniversary I bought her a diamond solitaire ring and we spent 6 weeks in Austrailia. I bought the ring in June to make sure I had it for Christmas.
Right now I'm sitting in Koko's play place after lunch at Burger king with Julia while The lovely Lisa, Dr Dan and Ryland the lost boy are skiing up at Cypress. I don't ski. As a matter of fact I don't like the snow, the cold or falling down a mountain Call me wacky!:
It's been a while since I've blogged. On top of my usual Christmas issues I'm also dealing with whatever is going on with my internal organs. I can't say that I'm surprised that it's my filtration system that's breaking down. I've asked a lot of it over the years. Now let's get to the good part.
Over the holidays we had people stop by. Big Bill Frew, Gerry Sax and Julia Harp lady, sans Harp came by and we made music all afternoon. We went out several times and had a wonderful few days of fun and community. Preparations for Christmas dinner starts 2 days before. Cranberry sauce is made, bread for the stuffing is chopped and all the root veggies are peeled and prepped. On the 24th serious preparations are undertaken. Chef Boy R Lisa is in her glory. Wooden spoon in hand Scullery Squatch is at her beck and call. Dry those dishes, take out the compost, stop picking at that! Sheesh! Turnips, Carrots, Rutabega Squash and Parsnips are parboiled and seasoned and trayed ready for roasting. In between scullery tasks I start preparing the living room for it's transition to the dining room. This is accomplished by moving all the furniture out onto the front deck. This is made exponentially more difficult by the fact that the entire room was hit by a Christmas bomb! There are lights, ornaments and Christmas crap everywhere. Bro Steve came by to help with the setup and in the kitchen.Once all the living room furniture was out I could see how much dust, dirt and various bits of half eaten Ratdog/ Squatch treats found their way under the various pieces of furniture. Stupid rice cakes! With the room empty. The floors swept and washed we brought in the tables from out on the back deck. If the world was annihilated today the only thing to survive would be Cockroaches, Twinkies and these tables! 3' x 8' 3/4 inch plywood with heavy metal fold up legs. 10 years ago I could handle them myself. Now, not so much.
The lovely Lisa and I spent Christmas Eve together. Puttering around the house. The lovely Lisa putting the final touches on the decor while I set booby traps for Santa.
I woke late and the lovely Lisa was already up. The coffee was hot and I made a breakfast of Squatchbreads and peanut butter. Until the lovely Lisa caught me and made me stop. It only took a moment for the lovely Lisa to open her stocking and for me to do the same. A dozen pairs of socks and a new Tilley hat to replace the one I left at Tommy Fulton's house and subsequently disappeared. With that part of Christmas done we got down to the good part.The Food.
About 11:00 we started preparing the meal. Chef Boy R Lisa had studded the prime rib roast with garlic and massaged her concoction of herbs and spices all over it the night before. It was going into Tamara's oven down in the suite. Tamara and Chris have always gone to family for Christmas dinner. That left only the turkey and the ham to prep. While the lovely Lisa was sauteing the hot Italian sausage for her stuffing I started peeling potatoes. I might have went a little overboard.I peeled 25 pounds of potatoes for 19 people. Heavy on the spuds people! With my part of the Christmas dinner on a vigorous boil I hid out in the living room watching Basketball and Football responding to the occasional bellow from Chef Boy R Lisa when necessary. The prime rib was cooking away in the downstairs oven, the turkey was in the upstairs oven and the ham was on the BBQ.
People started arriving after 3 and now the issue was where to put all the food people were bringing.
We ended up with 17 for dinner. Family and friends sitting down and sharing a meal. Mama Lee said a prayer, Bro Steve proposed a toast and as a bonus surprise, Dr Dan walked through the door just as we were finishing dinner and Mama Lee`s face lit up with surprise. The best Christmas present she could have ever gotten. Three hours later he was back on a plane to Prince George. The dishes had`t been cleaned from the table when the music started. Mark on the Mandolin and Bro Steve on my guitar started it off. Bill Taylor joined in as did Lea and myself on a drum.
I have a few guitars. GMcT was shaking out a rhythm on the tambourine and everyone was singing along. Some Christmas songs, some classic songs and some songs that had no words. Not really a crowd favorite. I grabbed a guitar and played Rudolph and Frosty and anything people can sing along to. Folsom Prison Blues and Margueritaville. Most people, or maybe just me, don`t care that someone can play 11 different chords in 8 bars. They just want to sing along.
It was all in all a very good Christmas day. I had a few egg nogs. I even put rum in a couple of them. Brother Peter was the first to go when the Handi Dart showed up an hour early. A quick picture with all the Horvats together, a rare occasion and he was out the door with a Handi Dart driver who was not impressed with having to wait for Brother Peter. I`m sure she was run off her feet. As people started leaving we tried to get a handicap taxi for Mama Lee. Two hour wait. Mama Lee was already having discomfort from sitting in her chair so long. We made her comfortable and continued making music. When the taxi arrived he called me from the driveway. I didn`t hear the phone because we were still making music. Bill Taylor, Bro Steve and myself. Larry and Angie who live out in the Valley were hanging in to help with Mama Lee. The yard is snowed in so we carry her up and down the front stairs. The taxi driver, parked 20 feet from our front door drove away when we didn`t answer the phone. I called his cell and he said "Too Bad I have another fare" It took another 90 minutes to get a wheelchair taxi. Mama Lee was very happy when she could finally go home. Bro Steve and I got Mama Lee down the stairs and into the taxi and Bro Steve followed her home to make sure she got in okay.
The next day, Boxing Day, was a blur. It took me 2 hours to put the room back together It was induced by leftover overload. We still had turkey, ham and prime rib, numerous bowls of veggies and of course about 15 pounds of potatoes. A full plate floating in Chef Boy R Lisa's incredible gravy and I was in a carbohydrate coma looking for a place to lie down.
The lovely Lisa went shopping. I have never done that. I have never waited in line to by discounted electronics or anything else for that matter on boxing day. I have waited in line for Sushi at Tentatsu but that's worth it! We did need a new coffee maker and Lisa got one. The same as our old one that we had worn out. We drink a lot of coffee. It wasn't even on sale!
Did I mention I got my bill for my points? Merry Christmas! You owe ICBC $415 dollars for your 7 points. 3 for doing 38 in a 30 zone and 4 for texting at a stop light. With the $600 dollars in fines. $350 for texting, $196 for speeding, it was an expensive two weeks last summer. See how I cleverly weave a little extra misery into my story. Also my best friend Stu cracked some ribs and then got the Flu. Ho Ho Ho.
Dr Dan rolled into town with Julia and Ryland the Lost Boy last night just in time for dinner. The same dinner I'm really getting tired of. I have eaten all the prime rib and most of the ham. I've never been a turkey man. A little dark meat and a lot of gravy. I put on 12 pounds in 3 days. We lay around after dinner like slugs on a sidewalk watching a 90 minute video I put together about our trip to Austrailia. Ryland is headed there mid month with his girlfriend Avery for 8 months. We spent 6 weeks there for our 10 th Anniversary Walkabout. It turned out pretty good but long. I also wrote a song about the trip. It's taken five years to get it down to 6 1/2 minutes from 22 minutes.
I woke this morning to a new day, rain and melting snow. Raining here, probably snowing on the mountain. They weren't able to get Julia into lessons so she was stuck with me. Her first Papa Squatch Day Scare experience. Like all kids she wanted Rotten Ronnies. I took her to Burger King instead. Hey! It's whopper Wednesday! She had nuggets, fries apple juice and an amazingly annoying toy.
I of course had a Whopper meal. When I ordered the girl at the counter asked me "Just One"
" Just one what? I asked "Whopper" " Do I look like I need two whoppers?" " Does anyone look like they NEED two Whoppers?" I must say I was offended as I devoured my Whopper while eyeing up Julia's left over Nugget. Why the nerve of some people!
After lunch I took her to Koko's indoor playground. She was having a ball and I was writing on my phone. It took her all of two minutes and she had made some friends. They then ran around screaming for the next 4 hours.
I bought her some tokens for the rides. The girl at the counter gave me extra tokens I got like a dozen of them for $5. Julia was treating all of her new friends to rides.
Everybody likes a gal with money. I couldn't get any decent pictures of her because she never stops moving and because I have some kind of stupid delay on my phone camera all I see in most of the pictures is the blurry back of her head.
We got home just after 5:00 and she ate cookies and I let her watch "Her Show" Not something I do with the Grandkids but not my kid. Go ahead turn your little forming brain into pudding!
I just heard from the lovely Lisa Ski Bunny. She's dropping Dr Dan and the Lost Boy off at the Canucks game and headed home. Now that I wrote Tentatsu, that's what I want for dinner. I can't eat anymore leftovers. Besides all that's left is turkey and parsnips! Oh yeah, and potatoes!
That's all I've got
Till next time
Peace out Y'all
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