Who's a Fat Bastard - I don't want to be cougar meat!

November 6, 2014

I keep showing this because it has been flowering since August!

      Papa Squatch dayscare was stood up again. I got the call from Christian at 8 o'clock. It was too wet for them to work, so he was keeping the kids and taking Bella to school. Christo had no school today.

      Yesterday was the first day I had worked out in almost a month.

I woke up this morning stiffer than three fingers of scotch. My groin felt fine. The rest of my muscles made up for it. As I started on my second cup of joe I thought of my conversation with Al yesterday. "Doing what you can is better than doing nothing at all," sometimes that guy can be a pain in the ass! I got out of my pyjamas and into my workout gear. Grabbing one more cup of joe, By the timeI put my shoes on it was 10 o'clock. I was about to start my workout when Lisa got out of bed. My plans came to a grinding halt. the lovely Lisa had things to do today. It was Lisa's responsibility to get Adrian's headstone made. It will be a year since he passed on the twelfth of November. It was finally installed on the sixth, so she was going out to the grave site to take a look at it with brother Steve. When Steve showed up, it was a quick hello and they left for the drive to Surrey.

      That left me with no excuses. Time for me to do my workout.

I do three different exercises on the workout mat.

First I do ten Belly Crunches. 

My best side

Using my two pound weights I then do ten Side Lifts in the sitting position. With the Bursitis in my shoulders I really feel these!

two pounds at a time

Then I do ten reps of the Four Stair Stretch, minus the stairs, also in the sitting position.

touch the toes, touch the toes.

I do ten sets of each of these. None of these hurt my groin and I feel like I'm taking an active role in my health again. I finished off with an episode of Sherlock while riding the Iron Maiden, one hour forty-two minutes of pedalling. 

Season three episode one.

      Then I came upstairs and I did my Wii Fitness. 

I'm an imaginary twenty-two years old. I did all the practise games except the boxing.  

Tennis anyone?

      I made myself a mixed grill for lunch. Chicken, meatloaf and lamb to go along with a spinach salad. 

      The lovely Lisa and brother Steve returned at this point. He's working tonight so he took off right away. The lovely Lisa did her Wii fitness. She was twenty-eight imaginary years old! That's a little old for me. I don't want to be cougar meat. I might have to trade her in on an imaginary twenty year old.

      We telephoned our friend Gordy, it's his 68th birthday today

Lisa sang, I played the harmonica and Nutmeg and Elvis howled Happy Birthday. 

http://youtu.be/fyAQ5VsTBIA

We're having a birthday get together for Gordy here tomorrow night. Lisa is making spaghetti with hot Italian sausage. I know everybody says they make the best sauce, Lisa's sauce is the best I've ever had. I might even have to have a little bit of noodle.

      At 6 o'clock I went and put on a clean shirt to go for dinner.

Lisa asked me if I minded staying home. She was very tired. She had just worked 50 hours in three days! There is plenty of food in the house so we don't have to go out and eat. I was happy to stay home.

      I was banished to tiny TV town! I watched the basketball game, I watched the football game, as I was waiting for the Canucks game to come on at 7:30.

      I added a bunch of lamb to my spinach salad and that was what I had for dinner. Kind of a shepherds chef salad.

      I'm really enjoying the style of hockey the Canucks are playing this year. It was end to end action and our goalie, Miller was unbelievable. We were totally dominated in the first period.  But went into the first intermission tied one apiece. With about 10 minutes left in the game Lisa came into tiny TV town and told me she was falling asleep on the couch. She crawled into bed and I got to watch the last 10 minutes of the hockey game in high- definition splendour. It was a very exciting game to watch and the Canucks won 3 - 2. 

      I'm supposed to have Papa Squatch dayscare tomorrow.

Christian won't know until the morning whether or not they're going to be able to work. 

That's all I got

Till next time

Peace out y'all

©2014 Dave Squatch Ward

Who's a Fat Bastard - Keep a quarter in the car

November 5 2014

Random Picture of a chicken eating a coconut.

      I can't imagine having to do this on a daily basis. Get up in the dark, drive to work in the dark, spend the day in the artificial light

then drive home in the dark. Actually it's not really dark. It's lit up like daytime from the headlights of ten thousand other poor bastards! Today I was one of them. I did get up in the dark but by the time I left the house at 7:30 it was starting to lighten up and when I got down to Ocean Studios it was daylight . I forgot to bring any change for the meter. I keep a quarter in the car for shopping carts. That buys six minutes on a Vancouver meter. It took me about fifteen minutes to figure out how to pay for the meter on my cell phone. I figured it out on the fourth try. 

       I've done lots of work for these people over the years. Paul, the director, lives in my neighbourhood. They're good guys and have  been there a long time. Most of the work I do for them is dubbing. That's putting the voice to characters that have already been drawn and voiced in a different language. It can be tricky, especially when it's drawn in Japanese.That's why some of the mouths keep flapping after the words stop. It took about forty minutes to record the twenty-five or so lines. I was in and out of there and still had twelve minutes on the meter.

      I've been kind of spaced out all day. I made a cup of joe to bring with me and I left it on the counter, along with the signed non-disclosure agreement i was supposed to bring. I had already emailed them a copy of it but they had me fill out another one so they would have an original copy.  It's no big deal, you have to sign one for almost everything you do. Copy written  material.

      I stopped at a 7-Eleven for a coffee because they're a dollar!

And the closest you can get to No Name Instant Coffee (joe),  their coffee is very hot and of course, I'm cheap! I also picked up some pork rinds. I don't like to eat before I have to work. I like to be hungry. A leanish, mean, voicing machine! I was going to eat something on the way home and Baconettes are my favourite. The pork rind, coffee combination may not have been the best choice. Immediately upon making contact with the coffee, the pork rind turns into something, somewhere between slime and the Slug that left it. Fortunately I had a bottle of dog water in the truck. Pork rinds will suck all the moisture out of your mouth! I keep three or four bottles of water in the truck for the dogs. I just refill them every once in awhile. Hey, it's not like I strain it through the dogs! 

Once I finished the pork rinds, I had the coffee to take the taste out of my mouth.

      I stopped in to see Mama Lee on my way home. She was in the middle of exercise class so I just said hello, goodbye. I needed to get home and let Elvis and Nutmeg out. 

Treat please!

They are like a couple of little pee camels! Until they're not. Really, they only had to hold it for four hours. Or is that four doggy hours! If it's seven years to one year, does that mean they had to hold their pee for 28 hours? If they did, that's pretty impressive. I can't hold mine through the night!

      When I got home I spent way too much time fooling around with that song I put out yesterday. Stupid I movie! I spent an hour practising with the lap steel and made myself a big Squatch Chef salad with chopped chicken and egg. Yummy.

      Much to my amazement the lovely Lisa actually had a reasonable day. She only put in 12 hours. Now she is off until next Monday. Every weekend is a long weekend around here. I had a couple of small things that I needed to take to Mama Lee. The lovely Lisa was sitting there with Mama Lee when I walked in with the two dogs. Nutmeg never saw Lisa and made a beeline to the dining room looking for scraps and lovings. 

After dinner visit.

Elvis ran right to Lisa. Lisa called Nutmeg, she could hear her but not see her and ran for the front door. Then went nuts when she saw the lovely Lisa but who doesn't? We were in two vehicles so I left with the dogs and Lisa stayed and talked to her Mom for a while. 

      I had eaten a late lunch so Lisa put together a plate for herself.

While the lovely Lisa was having her dinner, I was suffering through cardio guilt!. This is a concept that was run past me by my friend Al. He put forth the hypothesis that the stress induced by not working out was a good cardio workout. Bullshit! Because I haven't been able to do the exercises I was doing, I was doing no exercise at all. For as long as I have known Al he has had to deal with physical issues. He must be one of Canada's worst drivers because people just keep running into him. That aside he told me that when he was in a lot of pain and not able to exercise his doctor told him just do what you can. Anything is better than nothing. When it hurts stop and do something different. It seems so simple but honestly, I never thought of that. I've been writing about the drop in my energy level and how overall, I'm not feeling as good as I was. Idiot!

      I think that perhaps it's not the opposable thumb that separates us from the other animals. Perhaps it's our ability to rationalise, to find an excuse for whatever situation we find ourselves in that lets us off the hook.

"My groin hurts wah wah wah!" I'm like that old joke. 

I went to the Doctor I said "It hurts when I do this"

The Doctor said "Don't do that!"

      Well suck it up Nancy and hit the Green Room. I didn't do any stair work. No Four Stairs Stretches. No One Stair Steps. 

How skinny can my legs get?

I did ten sets of ten belly crunches alternated with ten reps of weight work for my shoulders. I did five different lifts to change the position of my shoulders. Some of them hurt like hell!  Then I watched an episode of the BBC's Sherlock while riding the Iron Maiden. 

Back in the saddle again!

One hour forty two minutes. That's how long an episode is. I'm really enjoying the show. My ass, not so much!

      I came upstairs after riding the Iron Maiden, buttocks in hand. Lisa was already pyjama'd and ready for bed. I put together a plate of meatloaf and chicken, a nice Squatch salad, then I hit the shower. I was in the shower and I could hear a rapid thumping coming from somewhere. I opened the shower curtain, and there was Elvis, scratching like crazy! Freakin Fleas! 

Hey, this ain't the jaccuzzi!

He was back in the sink and lathered up as soon as I was out of the shower. I think all the fleas hid in his pits and didn't come out for two days. I think Elvis would like to do the same!

Why Papa, Why?

      I have Papa Squatch Dayscare tomorrow. Jen will be dropping the kids off about 8:15. Christo doesn't have school tomorrow. I hope the weather is nice so we can play outside. Wait a minute! I need to clean the truck. He can handle a vacuum. That's not child labor. That's called gaining valuable life experience.

That's all I got

Till next time

Peace out y'all

©2014 Dave Squatch Ward

Who's a Fat Bastard - Some of the eye shots creep me out.

November 4, 2014

Good things come in small packages

      Today was one of those days that just kind of floated by. I had a pile of copy I had to go over before a meeting this afternoon. To be honest, since I haven't been working out I feel that my energy level has been dropping. I'm maintaining my weight loss, but doing it by diet alone. Now with the short days and grey skies if you don't motivate yourself early you have wasted the day. It certainly doesn't help if your day doesn't start until 10 am. That's when I dragged my sorry ass out of bed.

      I made myself a cup of joe and reviewed the material I would need later on today. I played a little guitar, reviewed the material again and lounged around until I got ready to go to my meeting. You never know how long it's going to take to get into town these days. If it's not raining, like today, I give myself an hour and a half. If its raining, two hours! It rains here 150 days a year. How is it that people who live here, can't figure out how to drive in the rain? And why does the upgraded multi-million dollar highway develop swimming pool size puddles when it rains? 

      I was sitting in front of the location in twenty five minutes. An hour and fifteen minutes before my appointment. I had Elvis and Nutmeg with me so I took them to the park at 7th and Alberta. There's always a lot of dogs around there. I let them run around in the park and they played with a little pug named

Angus while I ran my copy. 

      Twenty minutes before my appointment I went in to the lobby

and there was my old friend Jay Brazeau. It was really great to see him. He has always been one of my favourite character actors and I've had the pleasure of working with him on a number of occasions.

He also directed and starred in a play at the Arts Club Theatre called Breaking Legs that we did together with Bruno Gerussi. My favourite theatre memory. As I'm catching up with Jay, in walks Rob Morton and Alex Bruhanski. The place had turned into a retirement home for old actors! I was at least ten years the youngest. Truthfully, none of us were going to win a beauty contest but we could possibly win a weigh off! Between the four of us there was a solid 1100 pounds there! We sat around discussing the state of the business and the state of our health, turns out both are in need of care. The general consensus was, Golden Years my ass!

      I had a good meeting but I know the all of these guys did too. They're all very talented and it's all going to be about who's got the look that the director sees in that role. We all look very different.

      I stopped at Trout Lake on the way home. It's an off-leash park and I let the dogs run around. In retrospect not the best thing to do.

It put my drive home right in the middle of rush hour. It rained so hard last night that part of the new road at Grandview and Boundary collapsed.  Which added to the already horrendous backups trying to get on to the number one.

      I got the traffic report just in time and cut across to Parker all the way up and over Burnaby Mountain and home sweet home

in time for the Canucks game at 6. After a slow start the boys came back and scored five in a row beat Colorado 5 - 2.

      Lisa got a home at 7:45. Another 17 plus hour day. At least her call time for tomorrow is 4:30 am. Lisa had brought home spaghetti for herself. I had already eaten duck and salad and a bowl of fruit.

      I have another appointment tomorrow 9 am in Kitsilano so I'll be up at 6:30. It's a voice gig I'm doing tomorrow. I signed a nondisclosure agreement so I can't really talk about it until after it airs.

      I've been so distracted I never took a single picture today. So to make up for it, this is an original song I wrote and recorded last year on Garage band. It made me put pics with it to upload it. Some of the eye shots creep me out. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYX8Zwhz5oc

I get so focused on what I have to do that I lose track of almost everything else. I finished this when I got home from the studio.

That's all I got

Till next time

Peace out y'all

©2014 Dave Squatch Ward

Who's a Fat Bastard - Elvis has fleas!

November 3 2014

Still alive and blooming after three months!

      I left off last night on my way to the airport to pick up Stalker Bill and Ping. I was supposed to meet them at the arrivals pickup at 11:30. Their flight got in at 11:05. It was after midnight before we finally hooked up and it was after 1 o'clock by the time we got to my house.

      Stalker Bill and Ping have been on a cruise of the Caribbean out of Miami. They've been there for ten days so their body clocks are  on Eastern Time. On the drive back to my house they filled me in on their trip. Blah, blah, blah beautiful weather, blah, blah, blah beautiful boat, blah, blah, blah. Ping was very quiet in the back seat but it was 4 a.m. for them. Stalker bill said he had to be back in Victoria on the first ferry. 

      Stalker Bill and Ping we're not in bed ten minutes when Lisa was up to go to work. After the lovely Lisa left, I had a quick run around the shower and hit the sack with the alarm set for 5 a.m.

      It seemed like my head had barely touched the pillow when the alarm went off. Stalker Bill was already up and Ping was in the bathroom. I let the dogs out into the back yard, while I was out there, I used the yardinal.

      We were loaded up and headed to the Tsawwassen ferry by 5:15. There's very little in the way of traffic at that time of the morning. I dropped them off at the ferry terminal at 6:15.

      So now it was just me, two rat dogs and three hours sleep heading into rush hour traffic.  I had the GPS set for home and was making good time. The bitch in the box wanted to take me along river road and over the Pattullo bridge. That's crazy in the morning with everyone ducking the toll on the Port Mann bridge.

      I knew a shortcut, at least I thought I did. I was driving through farm country in Richmond on my way along the back roads to New Westminster. At any rate, it took twice as long to get home as it took to get there! When I got home, I went directly to bed. I had the alarm set for 11:30 so I could get up in time to go pick Christo up from Play School. Just as I was getting ready to go out the door I got a text from Christian. It was raining so hard they only worked a half a day so he could pick up the kids.

      Christian is learning how to be a stonemason. Working with my next door neighbour Rod, who is a stone mason and a damn fine one. I'd plug his company if I could remember what its called.

Something Scottish. That's so bad! He has a sign on his lawn. I could walk outside and read it but it is absolutely pouring here.

      I seriously considered going back to bed but then the phone rang it was Mama Lee on her first of dozens of daily phone calls.

If I went back to bed I'd be up all night and I actually have things that I have to do in the next couple of days. One of the things was to have lunch. Ham and cheese lettuce wraps.

      Elvis has fleas! Nutmeg must have them too but she's not scratching. I use this stuff monthly that you put on the back of their necks and it is supposed to kill the fleas for thirty Days. I ran out of it about thirty days ago. So I went down to the pet store and got some more. First I was going to give them a flea shampoo with a homemade recipe I found online. Dawn dish soap and apple cider vinegar. I actually quite like the way that it smells, I like anything pickled, but apparently the fleas don't! Elvis and nutmeg both just sit there in the sink and let me do what I need to do. Elvis weighs 5 pounds I weigh 285 pounds! Once I get hold of him he really doesn't have a lot of options. 

Wet and pissed off!

When I had them shampooed and medicated, I collected the towels I used and all of their blankets and bedding and threw a load in the washer.

      Since the lovely Lisa was at work I pulled out the lap steel and started practising. I think I'm starting to get the hang of it a little bit. You have to let the steel do the work and slow down the picking. I'm having a lot of fun with it. Christian likes it. I was trying to play Sweet Home Alabama while he was coming up the front walk. He said he stopped for a minute to listen and that it was pretty good. But he listens to Mexican Ranchero music loud enough for everyone in the neighbourhood to enjoy. I keep him around because, well, he married my daughter, gave me two grandchildren and makes the best cerveche los Cameron  in Canada. 

      He was picking Bella up at 2:45 so we had about 20 minutes to kill. I showed Christo how to hold the steel and we made a little music/noise. Just as they left to go pick up Bella it started to rain.

Which, by the way, hasn't stopped since!

      I switched the laundry over and went to see Mama Lee. She was having an aneurysm over her clocks not being set to the right time. I should have just went and done it right away. It would have spared me  thirty-five phone calls. It seems to me that when you're retired and living in a care facility, time means nothing. It does to Mama Lee.

      While I was with Lee I got a text from the lovely Lisa saying that lunch and been pushed 3 hours. That's going to make for a long day. I hung out with Lee for a while and then headed home to watch Monday Night Football. 

      Lisa walked through the door at 7:30, a seventeen and a half hour work day. I had put the duck we roasted the other day, and never got around to eating, in the oven to warm up when I got the Ho warning from the lovely Lisa. 

Duck dinner mmm mmm good

She was so so tired! She had a shower, barely touched her dinner and was in bed before 8. Her Call time for Tuesday, 2:15 a.m. !

      Is it just me, or has there not been a decent Monday Night Football game this year? Blowout after blowout! I alternated between watching the game and stabbing myself in the thigh with a fork. Just to see which one was the most painful. I fell asleep in my chair and the lovely Lisa woke me when she left for work. 

That's all I got

Till next time

Peace out y'all

©2014 Dave Squatch Ward

Who's a Fat Bastard -Hanging tough with no exercise.

November 2, 2014 

      Last night we switched to daylight savings time for no apparent reason. It started in Europe so the peasants could work longer hours in the winter. The way I see it, that gives me an extra hour of daylight to piss off the lovely Lisa. I've been on a roll in that regard. Besides no  one's scared of the dark anymore. Everyone has a flashlight on their cell phone.

      Sunday has become a lot of different things. It's weigh day and pyjama day and of course football day. If left to my own devices, I'd sit in front of the TV and watch football all day long. Not Lisa's idea of fun. Fortunately we were distracted by the arrival of Adam,

Jennifer's cousin from Toronto. He seems like a really nice kid, and you know he's tough, he rode the Greyhound here from Toronto.

Adam

That's three days of the droning of the engine and the unidentifiable smells that you can only experience on a long distance bus ride.

Now this is where I got myself in trouble. I told Adam that he could stay here with us for awhile if he  needed to. I probably should have run that past Lisa first. I saw the look on her face when I said it. 

I knew I was boned! It took me awhile to figure out what I was boned for. For the time being I had my back up and my brain off.

Lisa was so mad at me she had to go out for a while. It was 

at that point it occurred to me, I should have consulted Lisa before I made the offer.

      I sent her a text, one word, bread.  I have the kids tomorrow and I need bread to make sandwiches because Christo won't eat a bun. Why, because a bun is entirely covered in a crust and Christo don't do crust! He will sit there for a week and not eat it. It turned out not to matter because she didn't have her phone with her. It does however come back into play later in my story.

      Lisa came back in about ten minutes, after she had cooled down. I met her at the door with a heartfelt apology. "I should have consulted you before I made that offer." I said in my most contrite voice. We kissed and made up and all was forgiven. That's when she got her cell phone and my text message.

"Bread?"she said, with a look of stunned disbelief on her face.

"I need bread for Christo's sandwich tomorrow" I replied. 

"I go out of here crying and you text me bread?

Not, I'm sorry, not come home, not even I love you! Bread. " 

"I thought that apologies should be delivered face to face.

Shopping lists not so much." I said

      I swear to God I thought that would make her laugh.

Well, they say every cloud has a silver lining my silver lining was Lisa was in the bedroom mad at me, and I was watching football on the big screen in the living room. I'd still rather she wasn't mad at me but, you know, if she's going to be mad, I may as well be watching football. All this drama and it wasn't even noon yet.

      When Lisa came out of the bedroom we made up and everything was good again. We have been together for fifteen years now. She is most definitely used to my crazy shit. The Seahawks game was on at 1:30 today and we decided we would go down and watch it at Woody's. That way I can watch football with people who actually like to watch football, and Lisa can gamble on Pacific Hold em and play NTN Poker against the two or three other people in the bar who don't care about football.

      They do thirty cent wings and a thing they call small plate Sunday. This was the first time we had ordered the small plates. We ordered calamari, fish and chips and twenty hot wings. It was way too much food! I never thought that for $7 a plate it would be what it was,  which was too much food. It was all really good but that's only because it was all deep fried. That should send the Poop Fairy an SOS! 

      The Seahawks were winning, Lisa wasn't mad at me anymore. 

All was good with the world! Two minutes into the third quarter the lovely Lisa said "let's go"

Having already boned myself twice today I replied, "Yes Dear I'll just pay the bill.

"I'll meet you in the car." Lisa said

Hmmmmm, I said to myself. Do I detect a little residual anger?

That would explain why we left before the end of the third quarter and went to stupid store.

Lisa has a 2:15 call time so she was in bed by quarter to 6

I watch the Canucks lose and now I'm on my way to the airport to pick up Bill and Ping who are returning from their cruise. 

      Weigh Day. Hanging tough with no exercise.

Walking lots and feeling great. Gotta get up in three hours to take Bill and Ping to the ferry. Not much for pictures today either.

That's all I got

Till next time 

peace out Y'all

Who's a Fat Bastard - Disappointed one more time

November 1, 2014

Disappointed Balroom Dancer

      Lazy, lazy Saturday morning. Roll out of bed at 9:30 in the morning and made my way directly to the couch cup of Joe in hand. It was pretty near 10 o'clock before I realized I hadn't posted yesterday's blog. As I made my way to my office it occurred to me that I didn't post it because I didn't actually write it. When I sat down at the computer it was confirmed. Most of the words were their, but not in the order that they should be. Also, I hadn't downloaded any pictures. Very similar to what I'm doing today.

      I had just finished finally downloading my blog, when I turn to see lovely Lisa standing in the doorway with a sad look on her  face.  "What's wrong ?" I asked 

"I just got off the phone with Lea. The party at Leon's was last night! Lea says it was great."  

Oops!  

The lovely Lisa was so disappointed. I know this because she said "I'm so disappointed!" about a hundred times. She can't put anything past me!

      Halloween is Lisa's favourite holiday. Did I mention she was very disappointed? I would have swore the party was Saturday. I spent most of the rest of the day trying to find something for us to do on Saturday night. We prefer house parties because we are not drinkers, and the social environment at a house party is more conducive to conversation than a club. No luck whatsoever. Lisa had such a look of disappointment on her face. You would think she would be used to disappointment. She's been sleeping with me for fifteen years! I needed to cheer her up. So I left.That usually cheers her up.

      I had some things to print and of course my ink cartridge just ran out. I went to Staples but the prices are ridiculous. I ended up buying what I needed at London Drugs, for about ten dollars less than at Staples. I also bought three packages of pork rinds and some discount chocolate from the used Halloween treat section for Lisa.

      Then I put the chocolate back. Lisa bought a hundred and sixty pieces of chocolate for Trick or Treaters after the lovely Lisa doled out three pieces to every Trick or Treater that came to our door, she was left with only one hundred and fifty one pieces for herself. We live on a very busy road and the only kids we see are the Grandkids. The lovely Lisa loves to dress up. She looked so great in her costume too. Of course she looks great in anything, or nothing for that matter.

      After I did my shopping I went and took the dogs to see Mama Lee. I found her in the TV room watching the early game on Hockey Night in Canada with Russell.

      I got home and told Lisa to get it together, we were going out! We hadn't eaten since I made tacos at 2:30 in the afternoon, mine were lettuce wrap tacos. Spicy fried beef with guacamole and salsa mexicana. 

      There were lots of Halloween Hangover parties at the clubs on Saturday night. We briefly considered going out in costume anyway but ultimately decided not to. We didn't really have anywhere to go in costume. Like I said, we are not really clubbers.

      As it turned out, it was the right choice. We cruised downtown. Driving the length of Commercial Drive on the way. People watching, we saw no costumes. Though on Commercial how would you tell? 

Science Centre from a moving vehicle

We parked and walked up and down Robson Street. Never saw five people in costume. Lisa was still disappointed, but glad we didn't dress up. English Bay , Denman Street and Davies Street. Just people watching and enjoying the crisp autumn evening. 

      Next thing you know, we are famished and it's 9:30. We drive east from Davies Street along Hastings Ave. It's been a long time since I was down in this end of town. I do mean end! They have reduced the speed limit down there to 25 kph. Still too fast for that crowd. half a dozen people just wandered out onto the road. Two near misses later we were out of the war zone and headed to

On Lok for a bowl of soup.

BBQ pork Wonton noodle in soup. I haven't been to On Lok in years. They still make a great bowl of soup. Even with the carbs.

      Continuing east we drove over Burnaby Mountain, stopping at the viewpoint by Horizons restaraunt. The view of the city at night is impressive from there. We were there for thirty minutes talking and making out a little bit.

      When we got home I disappointed her one more time.

That's all I got

Till next time

Peace out Y'all

©2014 Dave Squatch Ward

      

Who's a Fat Bastard - Happy Halloween

October 31 2014

      No Papa Squatch Dayscare today. Well at least not until noon. So I slept in. Then when I did get up, at about 9:30, I grabbed a cup of Joe and finished yesterday's blog. I'm really starting to get the hang of using the voice to text on the tablet and then transferring it to my email account. Of course the reason I didn't finish last night's blog last night, was because I deleted it before I sent it to my email account, accidentally of course. It happens because I get too confident or too tired. Come to think of it, it almost always happens with the last page or so. They really should put the clear button a little further away from the send button.

      I worked on my costume until about 11 o'clock then I made myself something to eat. Grilled beef and eggs.

By the time I cleaned up the dishes, it was time to go get Christo. 

      I put on my costume and went over to the preschool/playschool to pick him up. 

He was dressed as a lion and he looked so cute.

I took him with me to Value Village, I needed a little prop

for my costume.

      They were having a Halloween party at Mama Lees at 3 o'clock and the lovely Lisa and I were going to take the grandkids and Matty  to enjoy the Halloween festivities.  

      I made some final adjustments to my costume. The lovely Lisa started preparing herself for today's activities.

      At 2:45 I went across the road and picked up Bella after school.

Bella was in a funny mood. As it worked out, her dad had to deal with a family emergency and wasn't able to be there for the costume parade. Little things like that are hard for a six year old.

I send the kids down to the green room to play while Lisa finished getting dressed.

We pack the Bella and Matty in the backseat and Lisa and I climbed in and headed off to Mama Lees for the Halloween party.

I dropped everyone off at Mama Lee's and went to pick Christo  up at home.

All of the of the residents where in the recreation room. Half a dozen of the old gals had a bag of candies on their lap for Trick or Treaters.

Christo, Bella and Matty went to each individual and yelled "Trick or Treat" loud enough for the old girls to hear. Which had to be pretty loud. "Mommy says we 're not supposed to yell inside" said Christo. " it's okay in here, these people are hard of hearing." I said.
They yelled, and were rewarded with candy. There were only about eight kids there, so the grandkids scored pretty good from the old babes. The residents were all excited to see the kids dressed up. And Mama Lee was in her glory. It's like a third world country, your place in the hierarchy is determined by how many goats you have. In a care facility it's Grandkids! Do you think they like Halloween because they're getting close to joining the spirit world? Or because any distraction from Care Centre routine is a break from the monotony of being.

      From there we packed all three kids into the Rav 4 and drove down to the mall at Lougheed Town Centre. 

They do Trick or Treat in the mall between four and five o clock. There must have been a thousand kids there! They were lined up out the door waiting to get  in. "Stay close and follow me" I said as I move Panther like through the massive crowd. A sidestep here, an excuse me there and a bull rush where needed, with two lions a Power Ranger and a Ballroom Dancer in tow, we made it through the crowd.

It was Trick or Treat heaven, warm, dry and probably 70% of the stores were giving out candy to the kids. Most of the stores were closed and the merchants were standing outside handing out the goodies. 
      It's a big mall. They're little kids. We certainly could have stopped earlier. By the time we finished all two floors these kids we're done. I dropped the Grand kids off at home and took Matty back with us to his house.

      Jen left work to come home and have dinner with her kids and then come trick or treating in our neighbourhood. We live on a very busy road and never get any Trick or Treaters other than the  Grandkids, and only because I beg! The streets on the other side of the school are way better. Everybody has Halloween displays on their lawns and it seems like every house participates.

      We were waiting for Jen to come by with the Grandkids and Trick or Treat us before we went to the Legion to hook up with Willy. They did us, next door Gord and Alice and Rod and Toni's.

After that I don't care. We watched them walk across the school parking lot headed for the houses in behind the school and

Halloween Nirvana.

      We cranked up the stereo, so the dogs would be less freaked out by the fireworks.  We got to the Legion and made ourselves comfortable in the Scots corner. Most of the usual gang was there. Friday night meat draw pulls them in like flies to honey. Free meat and Guiness! We spent an hour at the Legion talking to people whose accents gets so thick after two pints, you can barely understand them. And not that Sean Connery, Edinburgh accent, but an Easter House, Glaswegian accent thick as a steaming haggis! 

      Gord and Penny were having a Halloween  shindig over at the building they live in. 

We met Willy at the Government liquor store that Annie works at, he was going to ride with us to Gord and Penny's. The lovely Lisa was the absolute hit of the party her ballroom dancing outfit received dozens of compliments. We thought there was going to be food so we hadn't eaten. They had coffee, tea, sodas and cookies. Not really on a cookie diet myself.

      They had a good turnout and when the music started playing they packed the dance floor.

We were starving so we begged off early and headed out to the Terminal Pub to get something to eat. Plus it's an easy walk to Willy's house. Lisa had a rib dinner and I had a meatball appetizer and some chicken wings and washed it down with a pint of Coors Light. 

Lot's of costumes and it was really picking up when we headed home. I am not being judgemental, Lord knows I've done my share of recreational drinking. But a pub full of intoxicated celebrants when you are sober, is not nearly as much fun as you would think. We got home about midnight! Lisa got cleaned up and ready for bed.
I wrote this blog.

That's all I got

Till next time

Peace out y'all

©2014 Dave Squatch Ward